2008 Woodie Awards
It really bothers me that it has been almost 90 degrees everyday, and its October. Where’s the fall weather? During this time of year, I’m used to wearing light jackets, shoes and jeans, and not sweating all the time. I’ve hardly worn flip-flops during this time of year, yet I still wear them almost everyday.
Is it global warming? Who knows and I’d rather not touch upon that subject right now. All I know is that, it’s too hot.
Speaking of hot weather, one thing I’ve been noticing a lot lately is that parents are leaving their small children in the car while they go into grocery stores, run errands, etc.
The Kentucky Enquirer reported Oct. 9 that Epifanio Lopez of Florence, Ky., has been charged after his 19-month-old daughter was found alone in a hot car last weekend while he shopped at the Richwood Flea Market. Police said Lopez’s daughter was dressed in winter clothing and covered with a flannel blanket. Another customer spotter the child in the car at about 2 p.m. and told the gate attendant, who called the owners inside the building.
The Richwood Flea Market co-owner Mike Stallings was quoted as sayings the windows were cracked open and that Lopez’s daughter was “absolutely drenched in sweat.”
The article further went on to say that Lopez’s daughter was alert and seemed to be in good condition. However, it was not known whether she received medical attention at the scene.
In August, there was another incident of a parent leaving their child in a car. The Kentucky Enquirer reported of Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby, whose 2-year-old daughter died after she was left in a car for 8 hours when Nesselroad-Slaby went to her job as assistant principal at Glen Este Middle School.
Nesselroad-Slaby was later quoted as by saying she forgot that the girl was in the car. She was not charged.
I don’t have a kid or anything, but I do have to say it is pretty irresponsible to leave your own kid in a car for 8 hours. How could someone forget about their own child? Basically leaving them in a car to die of a heat stroke.
When I was little, I looked forward to two traditions every birthday. My present and my choice of where the family went out to eat. My parents never put conditions on the restaurant, but they didn’t need to; I always, without fail, chose a fast food restaurant. Of all the foods in the world, of all the varying costs and qualities and styles of food, the only food I found myself yearning for was of the ‘fast’ variety.
A decade or so later, and things haven’t changed much. When I find myself needing a boost for a day that has otherwise amounted to nothing, I inevitably find myself handing my credit card to someone in a Wendy’s uniform, or end up on my way home with a bag of a dozen burritos from Taco Bell sitting warmly in my passenger’s seat like an old friend.
So just what is it about fast food that keeps people coming back? The very name ‘fast food’ might imply that the reason has everything to do with speed of service, but as an employee at White Castle, I can tell you that we have regulars who come in like clockwork every Saturday at the same time, incapable of being surprised by the 10-15 minute waits for their food amongst the onslaught of drunk customers that hit us as the bars start winding down. I see some of these people more than my parents, and they’re right there, waiting in line at White Castle every week to eat their choice of oil soaked food.
Which leads right up to the second possibility. Could it really be the food? I’ll save us all some time on this one. No. It’s definitely not the food.
So what do I think is the reason that people go to fast food restaurants with such fanatic frequency? To eat with a total disconnect from social contact with those poor saps who make their food. When all those teenagers are piling into our small restaurant so that they can eat with their friends and be seen by their not-really-friends or sort-of-acquaintances, they’re all about eating and not about having to talk to a waiter or waitress. They’re in their own world (Trust me. We have to call out their orders about ten times before anyone will come for them).
And it’s not so different for the older crowds that come during the rest of the day. Small talk is appreciated mostly as they wait for their food, then they’re outey. I don’t blame them, either. I can’t tell you how many times I have found myself rolling my figurative eyes at a waiter or waitress coming over and asking questions when I’m in the middle of a story. Is it antisocial? Maybe. But really, what people want are food and drinks and friends, and an invisible bringer of food and drinks with nothing to say that doesn’t directly lead to more food or drinks.
It’s a simple formula, and I’m glad there is a business model that understands my needs. I want more burritos then can safely fit in my stomach, and I don’t want to have to talk about it.
So, another week, another round of weirdness.
Like in Casselberry, Fla., where senior citizens were treated to a free flu shot if they were over 55, and a free flu shot and lunch if they were 65 Oct. 2.
From a strip club.
Or, perhaps, like two women in Salem, Ore., who were arrested for driving a stolen pickup truck and possession of meth.
An officer found the pair sitting in the car – in the local jail parking lot.
One of the women was, police say, there to visit her boyfriend in the jail.
Or these award-winning parents, whose 1-month-old toddler was in the back seat of a car while it was running AND in-gear, officers said.
Where were they? According to police, the parents were drunk – and passed out in the front seat.
They’ve been charged with child abuse and the dad is charged with DUI.
After all these milestones, you are probably thinking, “Well I guess that is all that happened that was exciting this season?”
Well, my friends there was even more exciting moments in the season.
The New York Mets had a seven game lead over the Philadelphia Phillies on Sept. 12. In the two and a half weeks that followed the Mets lost the lead and on the last day of the season lost the National League Eastern Division Title. This my friends is one of the worst destructions of a team in baseball history, but it was like they made a complete turnaround and became what the Yankees were at the beginning of the season (Yankees came back from 21-29 record to clinch the American League Wild Card).
A season consists of 162 games. Over those tumultuous amount of games you have 81 at home and you have 81 on the road. For the Colorado Rockies and the San Diego Padres it took one more, a 163rd game, which was played at Coors Field in Denver.
This was the first one-game tiebreaker that MLB has had since 1999, which our hometown Cincinnati Reds versus the Mets (Mets defeated Reds, behind strong performance from starting pitcher Al Leiter).
Not only was the game exciting, but it had some questionable calls during the 13 innings of play. That’s right the game went into extras.
After what looked like a homerun by Rockies third-baseman Garret Atkins, a call at the plate sealed the deal.
The Padres brought in a well-established closer, Trevor Hoffman, after San Diego took a two-run lead in the top of the 13th inning at 8-6.
Rockies second-baseman Kazuo Matsui led the inning off with a double. Then shortstop and likely Rookie of the Year Troy Tulowitzki drove in Matsui with another double, 8-7. Then Matt Holliday, who should be the NL MVP, tied the game at 8-8, with a triple. Jamey Carroll hit a sac-fly to right-field and Holliday tagged up to go in for the run. When looking at the replay, it looks as though Holliday never touched home plate and was called safe.
So, after being labeled dead at the early part of September, the Rockies won 14 of its last 15 games to clinch the NL Wild Card.
This game was probably the most exciting game, I have watched since the Red Sox overcame a 3-0 deficit to win the 2004 ALCS 4-3. (I watched this on television, while on the other channel the Bengals were getting whomped by the Patriots on Monday Night Football.)
For those of you looking for exciting games to watch, put on TBS or FOX to catch the 2007 MLB Postseason.
I want to express to those of you who feel that baseball is a boring sport. Boy, have you all missed out on an exciting 2007 season of MLB.
The year in baseball has been known as the “Milestone” year as many of the top players in MLB reached career milestones, some of which won’t be reached for many years.
Craig Biggio, who retired at season’s end after 20 years with the Houston Astros, became only the 26th player in MLB history to eclipse the 3,000 hits mark.
Sammy Sosa of the Texas Rangers, had been out of baseball for a year, but the same old “Sammy” still had some power in his bat hitting his 600th career homerun.
500 homeruns use to be a ticket into the Hall of Fame, also being a high mark in a player’s career, but more than ever players are eclipsing the record and the same was true for the 2007 season as three quality players hit their 500th homerun this season.
Alex Rodriguez considered by many to be the best player in baseball right now (I would have to disagree) became the youngest player in MLB history to hit 500 homeruns in a career, hitting the mark a few months quicker than Hall of Famer and former Boston Red Sox great Jimmie Fox.
Frank Thomas who was well known wearing a Chicago White Sox uniform, but in the last two seasons has played for Oakland Athletics and this season the Toronto Blue Jays. Against a team that he has hit the most homeruns in his career the Minnesota Twins, blasted a ball deep into left-center field at the Metrodome in Minneapolis.
Jim Thome first-baseman for the White Sox also hit his 500th career homerun this season, but it was done in dramatic fashion. For the first time in MLB history Thome hit the milestone with a walk-off homerun to defeat the Los Angeles of Anaheim Angels, after trailing by seven runs in the game.
Of course if you do not watch any television you wouldn’t know that the most controversial player in MLB history, Barry Bonds, belted No. 756 into right-center field of the Washington Nationals. The homerun made Bonds the all-time homerun king passing the great Hank Aaron.
These are just the milestones that were reached by hitters, but I believe that the most cherished record that was reached this season was Tom Glavine notching his 300th career win.
In today’s game pitchers are emulated as fine gold. What does this mean? What I am getting at is that pitch count has become a big deal by managers and pitching coaches. After a 100 pitches they start warming up the bullpen. Back in the day pitchers threw till the arm was done. That was also when there was a four-man rotation. So for now, enjoy and embrace the 300 wins by Tom Glavine, because he may be the last one for years or maybe ever.
Stay tuned for Part II.
I got mine at 12:03. Luckily I was at the beginning of a 50 person line at the deadest store in the city.
“Halo 3,” the long anticipated and hyped videogame from Bungie released at midnight on August 25, at which point, it had already gone gold.
The game, which is expected to outsell Warcraft’s “Burning Crusade,” is amazing — at least so far. I haven’t really delved into the single player much, but everything in the multi-player from the maps to the new drops is awesome. I’m also a little bit of a dork, so I was uber-excited to see that the character customization has been taken to the next level — I can be a woman.
Now I know that this isn’t that big of a deal. Hell, you look the same anyway. But it makes me feel good to know that when I’m falling to my death while messing with the giant “man cannon” on “The Pit,” the voice exclaiming about my eminent death will be that of a woman. Not that you probably couldn’t tell with my purple and teal armor or Valkyrie symbol.
While I’m knee-deep in the 15 hours of heroic “Halo 3” playing, I also super excited about another game — this one snuck up on me — “Dance Dance Revolution: Hottest Party” for the Wii.
Now I know I’m about five years behind on the craze, but this is the first DDR game to be released on a Nintendo console. This game features music from the last 40 years and, of course, comes with a mat.
During my internship this summer I met a guy who’d lost 100 pounds playing DDR, so I’m hopeful. I’ll pick that up this week and have more on that next week.
For all of us who couldn’t afford a PS3, here’s a reason to start saving up. “Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots” doesn’t release until March, but when it does, it will only be on the PS3 system. “Metal Gear Solid” games have always been Sony’s specialty, but this one (in HD of course) is being predicted to really take the cake.
I’m excited about seeing the game on my new 56” TV, but I think I’ll just ask my brother-in-law to bring his over. So, I guess if you can’t save up the $500 for a new PS3, make friends with someone who can. You still have 6 months…
Tonight I attended the opening show of Othello at the Playhouse in the Park, and after the show, I dropped some delicious (but more importantly free) macaroni salad on the table just outside the theatre. Now don’t get me wrong, I fully understand how dirty that table COULD have been. But the food line was sufficiently long enough that when I did the number crunching in my head, it was more than worth it to just quickly look around to make certain none of the noble and esthete middle aged theatre patrons watched as I quickly scooped up the macaroni salad like some kind of barbaric heathen.
And that’s really what this blog is all about. There is a rule, old as time immortal known as the “3 Second Rule.” (I think that when Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge, it was only after it had hit the ground for a couple of seconds, thus issuing the creation of the first set of rules for eating potentially dirty food.) For those of you who don’t know what the 3 Second Rule is, I’ll break it down for you. If you drop something on the floor, it’s good for 3 seconds. After that, it’s suddenly and inexplicably disgusting and inedible to any but the foulest and most base of beasts. Depending on where you’re from, the amount of seconds may differ, but the gist of the rule is always the same. There is a heavenly bestowed buffer zone in which food is unable to become dirty.
But the 3 Second Rule is an over simplification of a more complex formula, one which I was privy to tonight at the playhouse and with which I have followed my entire life. In the same way that an understanding that things fall down is an oversimplification of a much more complex group of laws of gravity and motion, the 3 Second Rule hides an entire hidden world of food laws that you may unknowingly follow.
• For instance. The price of the item of food dropped on the floor is directly proportional to the time it takes for it to get dirty. That potato chip that hit the kitchen floor? Maybe you can let the dog have at it. But your steak dinner? Dust that baby off, she’s good to go.
• The deliciousness of the food is similarly proportional to the time it can spend on the flood. Broccoli need only barely brush the floor for me to give up on it, but Doritos? I’m fairly certain I can find those under my couch when I’m moving out of my apartment in a few years and I’d still give them a shot.
• The wetness of the food is inversely proportional to the time it may spend on the floor. I love pie, but if my lemon meringue so much as touches the carpet… okay, scratch that, I think the deliciousness factor may convince me to go for it.
•More complicated than them all is the ability for the supposed dirt to be scraped or brushed off. The more delicious or expensive the food is, the more likely this will happen. But I’m not sure even I am willing to scrape off the top layer of some of my grandma’s homemade mashed potatoes, and I love my Nana.
These factors, and many more that are being discovered every day, contribute to whether or not something is too dirty to eat. That’s why I say the 3 Second Rule is a sham. Some cursory research on the subject revealed the following from Wikipedia: “A study in 2007 using salmonella on wood, tiles and nylon carpet found that the bacteria were still thriving after twenty-eight days of exposure under dry conditions. Tested after eight hours’ exposure, the bacteria could still contaminate bread and bologna in under five seconds, but a minute-long contact increased contamination about tenfold (with tile and carpet surfaces only).” Which proves my point exactly. You can’t trust anything Wikipedia says, so their point is an anti-point.
In closing, I’d like to reiterate the main points of today’s lesson lest they be forgotten:
1. The 3 Second Rule is a lie.
2. Don’t trust Wikipedia.
3. I love my Nana.
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